If You Could Have One Super Power, What Would It Be?

Once upon a time, I would have said that I wished for the most superficial of powers: The ability to guess lottery numbers, skills to read people's minds, a chance to foresee the future.  With these abilities, I imagined I would exist without struggle, failure or pain. I would be successful in every endeavor, wealthy without a care in the world and live happily ever after.

In hindsight, I was just plain ignorant in my youth. 

At this point in my life, especially as a mother, I feel like I’m more practical than ever. I believe the super power I should have wished for was the ability to make time stand still. Not indefinitely- I would be very responsible with my power. I wouldn't abuse it to avoid old age or death, but just to stop the ticking clock for a few moments so that I could profoundly experience moments of my life and not be rushed by the hands of time. 

While snuggling next to my grandmother on our sofa watching Golden Girls and the Lawrence Welk Show, I would have taken my eyes off of the television to look right at her gentle face for a minute and maybe said something to make her smile in those paused moments, or maybe said nothing at all. 

I'm certain I would have used my bonus moments with Ryan to never be the first one to pull away from his rib crushing hugs. I would have sat down and concentrated on the sound of his voice instead of always multitasking when we caught up on each other's days. 

I would have stopped time to really experience Sophie, my second born when she came into this world.  I know I rarely paused to look into her big brown eyes or to give her as much love as she deserved. Time was slipping through my fingers faster than I could grasp at it during that period in my life. I needed my super power. 

The crazy thing about this assignment- I'm stopping 'writing time' while I think about this-  is it becomes apparent that I've likely always had some version of my super power. I guess for one reason or another I've consciously or unconsciously neglected to acknowledge or use it which is nothing short of an absolute shame. It's regrettable to realize what you have only after it's been taken from you. And, let's face it, this isn't the first time we've heard that expression. At least all experiences, be they good, bad or indifferent... are learning experiences. 

In my simple head, maybe I just wish for the ability to stop time because I think it would give my ever racing brain an opportunity to shift into slow gear. While in pause-mode, I could be sure to make a conscious effort to use my senses and human emotions to appreciate certain moments in my life. I have a track record of being emotionally unavailable at times, and I'd like to erase it. The more senses engaged, the better chance the moment can be recalled upon later as a memory. Your children will grow up, your parents will pass away and events you never could have anticipated in a million years will occur and change your life as you know it.  Someday, that memory may be all that you have left. 

It really isn't enough to be present in a moment if you haven't fully committed yourself to every aspect of what is happening. A hug turns passionate when you allow yourself to avoid the instinct to pull away and instead breathe in someone's scent and slowly exhale, look at the pattern of freckles on their shoulder, feel the temperature of their skin against yours, run your fingers through their hair, look through their eyes and into their soul to the point that you feel comfortable being uncomfortable. 

My Super Heroes

Letting ourselves be this completely vulnerable, living fully in the moment, taking incredible risks, entrusting our completely exposed hearts to others are all human qualities that we had as children that later in life became nearly obsolete. Maybe without even realizing it, life experiences can direct us to believe that stopping time, or just totally stopping for a moment in time is something of a super power; Something we as average humans just don’t possess. Super heroes aren’t fearless but they don’t let their fear influence their choices. Fear causes you to hold back and only give as much as you perceive yourself capable. I think as long as we can set our fears and our defenses aside and acknowledge what our powers are or what they might be, then we have the ability to attain at least the most practical and possibly the most significant of super powers.