My name is Heather Means and I am a mother, a designer, a writer, and a widow. I also have a couple of degrees hanging on my wall, but they don't make me who I am. And, I'm most happy to share that I truly understand that life isn't about what you are...but who you are.
When someone points to me and says "Who is she?", I hear whispers.... "That's Ryan Means' widow", "Sophie's mom", "Elizabeth's mom", or "That's the girl that wrote that book about her husband, you know, the soldier with the cancer"....
Any of those descriptions are accurate, but here in this Blogosphere, I am a woman who is dedicated to reminding my daughters, my friends, the world- that even though someone has left this Earth, they do not have to be dead. My daughters really are going to know their father, Ryan Means, despite their age at the time of his death. I swear to it. It's certainly not a religious thing or a psychic thing- I'm not great at those- it's simply a 'me' thing and now it can be a 'you' thing.
We can chose to live our lives in a way that allows those we have lost to live through us. We aren't going to stop thinking about them or talking about them. Spouses, friends, grandmothers, anyone that you have 'lost' is still here- maybe in your heart, maybe in your head or your memory. Sit back, close your eyes and hear that devilish laugh taunting you, that stern, experienced voice lecturing you, recall the feel of those arms embracing you again- and then laugh out loud and embrace someone, bear-hug them, tackle them....whatever it takes to bring it back. Be conscious and aware of the fact that special people have left an impression on you and let it change the core of your being for the best. Share that person with the world through your extraordinary means, making this a better or at least much more interesting place to live... one thought or gesture at a time.
The bonus part about reading my chit chat??? You're going to naturally gain an appreciation for your own life...I promise. I'm not perfectly certain how this works, but I've heard it over 20 million-billion-trillion (or 700 and counting) times from friends, family and fans of the book and I've started believing it enough to begin this blog. You'll also accidentally stay up to date on the latest colors and trends in home fashion, learn a bit of medical terminology and share some laughs, tears and recipes for parenting along the way. Plus, we are just full of awesome quotes and useless yet profound thoughts around here, so join me today!
“If you want to make God laugh,
tell him your plans.”
or
“Be careful what you wish for- you just might get it- so be very, very specific.”
My 10 year plan:
Heather Hohman, Home:Pittsburgh, PA
Age 21:
- Graduate from college
- Maybe I’ll give grad school a try
- Buy that chihuahua I’ve been wanting since age 6
- Own a sweet convertible (for me and my chihuahua)
- Find some desire to get married...because I don’t have any at all! (It’s likely going to be one of these doctors I work with at the hospital because I work most every weekend. And- if that does happen, I’d sure love to have a cute baby girl to dress-up.)
Let’s fast forward 10 years, to 2009:
Heather Means
Homeless: (somewhere between NYC, Nashville & Atlanta)
Age 31:
Age 31:
- Graduated college with a B.S. in Occupational Therapy and with no real desire to pursue a career in the field....
- Completed Grad school with a Doctor of Physical Therapy Degree and $72,000.00 in student loans. (FYI: that’s twice what I make in a year, pre-tax). Sallie Mae tells me if I’m diligent, all should be paid off by age 52. Super. By then, my kids will have their own student loans and we can laugh about this insanity.
- Jack the chihuahua will turn 10 this year. He has a heart murmur but his incessant yapping keeps him young. I have headaches from the aggravation of the incessant yapping.
- Convertible turned out to be great when it wasn’t too hot, too cold, too windy or rainy...or when the dog wasn’t in the car- he was terrified of the wind in his ears or blowing away. It wasn't quite conducive to proper infant seat use either. But, I can check it off the list.
- I married the man of my dreams, a Special Ops soldier who I met in the parking lot of a cheap motel while on vacation. (It’s true, but a bit more romantic than it sounds....I just like saying it that way....it’s the way that he always told people we met and that's how I'm keeping it.)
- I’m now widowed...with a 3-week old and an 18-month old...both beautiful baby girls, one of which occasionally allows me to play dress-up with her.
- I think I’d like to try a career in interior design...or maybe writing...maybe more student loans.
- I need to write about this experience, about Ryan, about how I'm now someone else, so that my daughters will maybe understand why they are who they are, as they grow up.
- I can change the way people think about life.
- I will change the way people think about death.
I openly welcome you to subscribe to my blog for life inspiration, design inspiration, and most of all an appreciation of the delicate beauty and brevity life. If this interests you and inspires you, please share the blog with your family and friends!
Yours Truly,
